Had a bit of a meltdown yesterday and took the afternoon off as flexi (even though I'm not sure I had enough to use). My line manager, who is Head of Personnel, was really nice and sympathetic.
My sources of anxiety are:
1. My dad's early onset dementia. I know there is actually not a lot I can do about that at the moment. He has to have an MRI scan and will then put onto medication to stop it progressing. I guess it's just taking things as they come. my mum is being a lot more positive about things than I was expecting.
2. My little nephew having an MRI scan due to his developmental delay. We don't know there's anything wrong yet, so I'm focusing on that.
3. Jason has shingles, but has still gone to work and doesn't seem to be taking it very seriously. He said he was relieved it wasn't cancer. I'm not entirely convinced it is shingles. So far he has no blisters and whilst he's in pain occasionally he doesn't seem to be in the agony that people who have it experience. Not that I'm wishing that on him. anyway, I can't make him take care of himself.
4. My new tenants, who have only been in the house since the New Year, are 10 days late paying the rent. I just cannot be bothered to do this anymore. Even Jason has said he is coming round to the idea of selling. That is clearly easier said than done because we'd have to get the tenants out then find buyers and then I'd have estate agents and solicitors fees, but I suggested to Jason that whatever I made maybe we could use to pay off some of the mortgage on the house we're in. I don't know what that would mean about me having my name on the mortgage, as obviously Jason's been paying it off for years, but I wouldn't just hand that money over. I'm not as daft as I look!
I had such high hopes about this year, after a couple of really good years, but so far it's been crap. I guess it's all just part of being an adult. It helps just to write it all down.
To live will be an awfully big adventure!